Fad Fanatic Gifts

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

'Helen, I can't believe you haven't tried shrink wrap! It's the latest thing.'

'Cool, I finally found it after weeks of searching. . . the end of my key chain lanyard.'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

The Fourth Little Pig

The tooth fairy.

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

Lady of the bath...

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

Boy and Bear and Monster

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Alternative fielding positions

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Newt sale

Warrior Woman

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Friday

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

Science fiction fans on other planets

Catasaurus

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Dragon and Dragoff