French Fry Fanatic Gifts

'I don't understand why people say I'm having trouble quitting.'

'Put the chips down and back away. Slowly. We don't want any heroes here.'

"See? It never hurts to ask."

Missing Old Haunts

I HEART CHIPS

Excuse me. I have the most important announcement of my life. A scientific study shows that women who cut down on fat don't necessarily reduce their chances of heart attack or cancer. Thus I have a new two-pronged life strategy. Prong one: Eat as many french fries as I possibly can. Prong two: Remind the men in my life that the study only applies to women. Give me your fries or perish!!! I hate science. What if I wear a dress?

'I want to start a movement to remove little ketchup packets from fast food restaurants. I can't dunk my fries!'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"I made your favorite potatoes."

"I need a few more minutes to resolve an internal battle between my soaring cholesterol level and a craving for french fries."

Sausages.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

Cooking with Pierre

"A votre sante!"

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'Would you like a shake with your fries?'

...the onion rings

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

Real Fast Food.

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

'Can you tell me the nationality of Napoleon?'