Freelance Fanatic Gifts

"I'm a soul trader."

Wait, what? I thought this was spec work!

"Being a pet is all right, but I prefer being self-employed."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Friday

Star Wars vs Star Trek

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Alternative fielding positions

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Signing the declaration of independence.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

Ok, I'll put in the hundred thousand for a 50% share of your St. George franchise.

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

Freestyling.

Cheerleaders

"It's improv night."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

Movie Franchise

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

"I'm from the small business administration...have you ever considered franchising?"

Hello, Mary Popmedia. Who do you think you are? A citizen journalist. Ha. You have no training, no experience. What gives you the right? The first amendment! Or is it the second amendment? I have the experience to look up the answer.

Celebrity Books.

"If we hadn't met, would you still be producing fringe theatre?"

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

"Oh my gosh, you're RIGHT! The boundary between our franchise territories is 54th Street! I'm so sorry, guy! My fault entirely!"

"Before I run several extensive eye exams on him for poor vision, have you thought about cutting his hair?"

What your coffee drink of choice says about you...

"We did the sequel, we did the prequel. There's only one option left: zombies."

Photographs of Neville gave gals an itch they found difficult to scratch.

George Michael In The Toilet.