Freelance Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

"Young Frankenstein"

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Self help acupuncture

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Burning the midnight oil.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

What My Day Feels Like

Multi-tasking.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Back to work...

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Do it yourself books.

Working Late

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Relaxing in the Sun