Freelance Aficionados Gifts

'Get a job? -- and give up freelancing?'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Tongue in the ear...

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'Yes, I'm nocturnal, or you could say, a certified daydreamer...'

"I'm a soul trader."

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

"Please mum - not the baby photos."

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"So, professor, in a post-industrial robotic universe, what would be the role of politicians?"

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

"Well, look who woke up all bright-eyed!"

robot in car

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

'T.S.I.F.'

'Have you Googled your homework, yet?'

'Son, there's more to life than dunking, There's also making big money from ads, like Yao Ming'

Father to mother: 'Don't look now, but I think the baby just downloaded.'

"I now pronounce you man-made man and wife."

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

Acne Automation Works Outing

I think it's polite to turn off your cell phone on a date. Oh, I agree. That's actually the sound of my ankle monitor.

What your coffee drink of choice says about you...

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

"Good evening. I'm your news anchor-bot."

"Then, unfortunately, our market launch ran into a brick wall."

Free WiFi On-Board