Freelance Fanatic Pillows

"Being a pet is all right, but I prefer being self-employed."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Friday

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Alternative fielding positions

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

Ok, I'll put in the hundred thousand for a 50% share of your St. George franchise.

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

Freestyling.

Cheerleaders

"It's improv night."

Movie Franchise

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

Celebrity Books.

"I'm from the small business administration...have you ever considered franchising?"

"If we hadn't met, would you still be producing fringe theatre?"

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

Kid sells Acai Berry Juice at stand free trial.

"Oh my gosh, you're RIGHT! The boundary between our franchise territories is 54th Street! I'm so sorry, guy! My fault entirely!"

'Was the flash too bright?'

Photographs of Neville gave gals an itch they found difficult to scratch.

"We did the sequel, we did the prequel. There's only one option left: zombies."

"This was the best school day of the week!"

'Now that guy is really obtuse. . . and I'm not talking about the angle of the triangle of his fin.'

"Before I run several extensive eye exams on him for poor vision, have you thought about cutting his hair?"