Free Throw Philosopher Gifts

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Good game."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Guy in gym

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

The Meaning of Life

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

"I'll throw around the 'old pigskin' as long as the pig isn't still in it."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.