Free-range Philosopher Gifts

"Of course, lack of discipline is a major problem in raising free-range chickens!"

Ban on Free Speech

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Look on the bright side, more gay marriages means fewer abortions.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

The Mainstream

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

Loner sheep sings 'I gotta be me'.

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties

Meta data retention.

"I used to complain about being trapped in a cage, until he got his 250 premium channels."

"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

And a good morning to you, employee. Happy boss. What's up? Looks like it could be Republicans in 2022. Free market guys, guys who sympathize with the realities of hard-core, cold-hearted, rational capitalism. Makes me want to fire someone. Duck!

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "

"Sure, I had a retirement plan. Stop going to work"

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

Conformity

'Small, medium or large?'

Atheist's Rule Ok.

"Let's face it - if your god existed, I'd been struck dead long ago for mocking her."

Question Authority. But don't be too picky about the answers.