Free-range Aficionado Gifts

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Squeezing the Free Press.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Bring your own inflatable.

Duck Hunt

"Tallyho!"

"Eat me"

"Where do you think we are in the food chain right now?"

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

UNFADED GLORY

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

Pull the udder one

'I believe it's time we stopped relying so heavily on instinct.'

The polar olympics

"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Choose two."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

The Idea of America.

Stuffing the turkey.

"Phew, that was close."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Cat has birds on whiskers,

"When we get back to the cabin, I’ll open the Champagne, build a nice fire, and we can examine each other for ticks."

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

The Lawman

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.