Frankenfood Humorist Pillows

JJ Meat Packing/JJ By Products

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"The Eggsorcist"

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

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"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'