Frankenfood Humorist Pillows

JJ Meat Packing/JJ By Products

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"The Eggsorcist"

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

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"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Cupcake jumps out of cake.