Fossil Fuel Fumbler Gifts

"You ordered a tanker load, remember?" "I meant one of these!" (pointing to tiny oil tank).

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Just Stop Boil

"You overwatered the plant, again."

Oil shock.

The Final Chapter.

Medical Supplies

"Woo-hoo!"

710

If Ghosts Were Real

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

Hourglass earth - time running out

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

'Have you been eating right?'

Men looking at oil rig - "Are they supposed to take off like that?"

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

Perpetual motion car

"Actually it started quite harmlessly... internal combustion engines were the first thing the EU banned..."

"If only fossil fuels had developed sufficiently, we could have taken the car"

"We're dinosaurs."

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

Athlete nearly reaches finish line after his trousers fall down.

'Our mortgage is now owned by a guy named Lenny the Squid in bayonne, N.J.'

"Big coal is getting restless."

'Have you considered switching to another energy supplier?'

Novice gardener - not recognising daffodil

'He must be so excited - Today is his very first day at school!'

'Let's see... you had scrambled eggs with ketchup, beans and sausages, one beer and two espressi. That'll be 15 euro and 80 cent, sir.'

"I'll say it was good. There were times I even stopped looking at my phone."

"I accidentally logged into Turtle Tax instead of Turbo Tax a month ago and I'm still trying to get our W-2 information entered."

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

'When it comes to texting, I'm all thumbs.'

"Your broker called. You're broke."