Flood Fumbler Gifts

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

The Final Chapter.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Medical Supplies

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'All right, buddy -- hand over all of Earth's flubber and nobody gets hurt!'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

421AD...north east Italy

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Chelsea flower show sewage

'Have you been eating right?'

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

'It's the plumber ... '

Master Plumber

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

Noah's Ark slugs.

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

'This place has been bailed out more often than Greece.'

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

Pet fish flooding the house.