Flood Fumbler Gifts

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"I can see our house from here."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

The Final Chapter.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'All right, buddy -- hand over all of Earth's flubber and nobody gets hurt!'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

Medical Supplies

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

421AD...north east Italy

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

'Have you been eating right?'

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

Chelsea flower show sewage

Honey, wake up

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

'It's the plumber ... '

Noah's Ark slugs.

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

Master Plumber

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

'This place has been bailed out more often than Greece.'