Fossil Collector Gifts

'Since we got up off all fours I've been having thse low back pains.'

The Last Mosquito

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"'Why am I up here?' you ask! Let me give you a tip, bro; walking on land is the only way to go, if you want to avoid extinction!"

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

Dog in casino.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"If we consume less, floss regularly, and use sun screen - we should all be fine!"

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Museum. Children love the Tyrannosaurus exhibit. Of course! T. Rex are for kids! (Published originally on Oct. 1, 2014.)

The Steakosaurus

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"You've passed with extinction!"

Dog Love.

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"