Fossil Collection Gifts

'And they say our brains were the size of a walnut.'

I don't want to waste my last weeks on Earth recording our culture for future generations. I'm sure they'll figure us all out from our bones.

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"If we consume less, floss regularly, and use sun screen - we should all be fine!"

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"When I grow up, I want to be a scientists like Uncle Grog."

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

The Steakosaurus

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"You've passed with extinction!"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

Fossil bands

Fossil hunting

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

'Ogg's quite the visionary.'

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

Signs of prehistoric party behavior.

We apologise for the disruption to your evolution...

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'