Fortune Cookies Pillows

Misfortune Cookie.

'You will eat a fortune cookie very soon.'

"There'll be no fortune for the foreseeable future"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"My fortune says 'The first day of your diet will be hard but the second day will be easier.' That makes sense. By then I'll be off my diet."

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

'I see you crossing a road...'

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

Misfortune cookies

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

"Let me get this straight - You're divorcing him because of a fortune cookie message?"

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

Change in imminent

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'