Forgotful Fashionista Gifts

'I forgot my keys!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Blue Dress and Feather

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'Yeah, a lot of people say I look like Elvis. I think it's my eyes.'

"Jeepers creepers! It's Madonna, but it's you, too, Margaret."

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

What bothers me is that my birthday suit now counts as vintage clothing.

The Mods and Rockers feud had got out of hand

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

Pizza and Karaoke

'Nice smile.'

My client vigorously denies your charges. He says he has great respect for what makes you special. He knows that you like Amy Winehouse, watching The Office, secondhand clothes. You're reading off my Facebook page. He knows you're on Facebook. You're both off my friends list.

Strange man has a nose monocle.

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

Amy Winehouse

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

Belated Birthday Cards

Rock and roll singer with old mike and three backing singers.

1870: The accidental invention of 'the selfie'.

Wild and crazy salmon

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Will Curl Lip For Food

Here's eco club's green-prom tip sheet. Let's see. Wear vintage clothing. Buy locally grown corsage flowers. Use biodegradable cups and plates. Eco club. This is so obvious. How about the tough stuff? Ok. Who knows where to recycle gel pads from push-up bras? The place that takes the fake hair extensions?

'Do these pants come with bigger belt loops?'

The 80's boombox guy in the 21 century

"I advise you to take it, Madam, before Washington puts its foot down."