Forever Cynic Gifts

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

'I hate my life.

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

The Fed: Problems and the solution.

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

Mail & Political lies.

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

'Good job on screwing up the economy. Now make global warming worse.'