Footgear Fan Gifts

Size nine, please! Sir, your toes alone are size nine.

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

"You've got to stop wearing top hat and tails in the office! Everyone thinks you've got a huge payrise!"

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

Public footpath on a desert island.

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Caliologist

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

In addition to dusting crops, McWit now rotates them.

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'You've got lot toe!'

Centaur Sprinter

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

Shoe Whore

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

Executive wearing fluffy rabbit slippers.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

"That's great for the right foot, now let's look for the left."

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

Fitness Equipment. Home Gym. Who do people buy expensive exercise equipment? Because they don't have tails to chase.

"Now, don't move, I'm going to practice my high jump and need a good landing mattress..."

Pilates Creative Stretching Program.

Non-smoking. Do you have a footsies section and a non-footsies section?

Prisoner does Shot Put with an Ankle Ball and Chain