Football Sidestepper Gifts

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

U.S. World Cup Frenzy

Big Football

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

Sidekick speed matching service.

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

"Why does he keep in the same players?"

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

'That's mighty inspiring, Bucky, but I reckon my best hope for gittin' outta this quicksand is for you to reach me that cardboard tube.'

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'If I could pick as many winners as he picks balls out of net - I'd be a rich man.'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'The bite was great but you forgot to clutch your face and fall to the ground waving an imaginary card...'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

Good parenting.

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

"Somewhere a long. . . long way from the World Cup."

"He's normally not affectionate, but he has really taken a liking to you!2

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

"He's the new Turkish signing"

Tumbling down the Ski Slope.

We interrupt this game because our sponsor has just filed for bankruptcy.

"It's the only way I can get him to look at me when the World Cup is on."

"Young Justice" got renewed for a third season! What's that? It's a cartoon about a bunch of superhero sidekicks, like Robin and Kid Flash. They start off in the shadows of the more famous heroes, but they quickly show that they're every bit as cools as the bigger, stronger heroes. I think I can tell why that show appeals to you, little buddy. Does your cup feel heavy? My cup feels heavy.

'I should have known better than to call a geek for backup.'

Batman and Robin

'You're in luck, Sir. . . we found the only television in the shop that won't show sports!'

The incapacity benefits people want you to give them a ring...'

I told people who I was going to vote for, but on election day I stayed home and played board games instead. The Milton Bradley effect.