Football Followers Gifts

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Raheem Sterling

"Uptight End"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

The best goalie in the world!

Archaeologists discover a football

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'Now what?!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

David and Goliath.

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Referee cop.

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"Go deep!"

Football Violence

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"