Foodie Misadventures Gifts

... Harold at the stomach pump.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Spaghetti Road

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Big Burgers.

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"Why don't we skip the falafel bar, Sinbad."

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

"A restaurant critic! I hope she doesn't make this place sound too good."

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

The Deli Llama

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

Sandwich Shop Sandiwched Between Skyscrapers

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

"Regular coffee? Really? Seriously?"

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

'You need to go on a diet. Your spare tyres are getting spare tyres!'

A couple leaves their child at a "Child Check" counter before entering a fancy restaurant.

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

"Did you get the Gundersons' pics of their Caribbean cruise?"

"Quick! Nip to 't chippy and don't forget the mushy peas!"

"A table for two? Let me see... Yes, we have a table for you at the beginning of 2025. Do you wish to set up a instalment plan on the booking order deposit?"

"I'm on a health kick at the moment - let's walk around it a few times before we eat."

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

"Look, I'd like to help, but I've just got too much on my plate right now."

"Let's go to that new place where they club something to death and cook it for you right there."

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

"This phone has so many pictures of food, my ringtone is a burp."