Food Store Gifts

"You'll eat anything with 'poids net' on it."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"It's probably just seasonal."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Make me one with everything!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Attack of the 'health' foods

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Merger at 28th and Lex

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

How was your hotdog?

Hot dog salesman - 'Early american or loaded with preservatives?'

"All I've got left is smoked."

Hot dog cart next to a hot spot cart.

Oysters in June - delicious!

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

"Are your chickens raised without the use of growth hormones?"

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'