Food Stores Gifts

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Personal Assistants.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Attack of the 'health' foods

Low Hanging Fruit

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

"All I've got left is smoked."

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"I need one of them and one of them..."

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

Generic Products

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

Till malfunction

Line for a funnel cake stand.