Food Shopper Gifts

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Important Food Groups

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Dad Trophies

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Everything's gone up."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Witches Checkout.

Unusual Offers

'Diet considerations.'

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'