Food Retailer Gifts

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Cut Price

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Home depot."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"It's probably just seasonal."

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

"Make me one with everything!"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Personal Assistants.

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

'The body's ok, but the neck's too tight.'

Last Chance for Everything.