Food Purist Gifts

GM free zone

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Grandma's caf

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"Respect the park's Natural beauty. No Instagram filters."

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"He sold out, so he's sold out"

"One thing I'll say for us, Meyer--we never stooped to popularizing science."

"Drawing with computers is easy..."

"He only dances to The Dubliners."

"So obvious, there all the time"

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

"No pre-recorded music in this church. It's all 100% organic!"

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

Academicians discussing the admitance of Pre-Raphaelites

EAT: Ambience-free cusine

'The Garrett Club'

"I don't like his color."

"Yeah, but I detest subtitles."

"It strayed too far from the video game."

'She wants to know why we don't clean up the *@#!@* language in our movies.'

The smokiness of this overpowers my palate --- I'd like some bacon with more subtle flavors. A swine snob.

Junk Mail Yard - "Catalogue junk over there, Insurance and credit cards over there.."