Kitchen Purist Gifts

Grandma's caf

LAY ZEE FUK

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

The Origins of Everything

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"Respect the park's Natural beauty. No Instagram filters."

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

Thank you for the wedding present.

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

Staycation Photos

'Mom, am I store-bought or homemade?'