Produce Purist Gifts

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

Grandma's caf

GMOs: The Next Generation

Technology and literature

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"One thing I'll say for us, Meyer--we never stooped to popularizing science."

"Got anything that will expire before I do?"

"We're very strict. No soy milk, no veggie burgers, no margarine... nothing that even looks like an animal product."

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

All reduced 10...The prices? No, the vegetables.

'Yes, those were grown with love. Now, these here, on the other hand, were grown with a love gone wrong.'

"The people in my new novel have started rejecting print media. That's a bad omen."

Man Covers Up Television in Favour of Books.

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

"And another thing, stop sending me e-mails."

Academicians discussing the admitance of Pre-Raphaelites

EAT: Ambience-free cusine

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

"Worried about the city's water supply, dear?"

"He's been upset since they colorized 'It's a Wonderful Life,' and I think it's finally pushed Him over the edge!"

The only guy left who's not online.

Junk Mail Yard - "Catalogue junk over there, Insurance and credit cards over there.."

"It strayed too far from the video game."