Produce Perfectionist Gifts

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

All reduced 10...The prices? No, the vegetables.

"Do you have any red ones?"

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

'Yes, those were grown with love. Now, these here, on the other hand, were grown with a love gone wrong.'

Fancy, Extra Fancy, and Reality Fruits

"Got anything that will expire before I do?"

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Bullseye!

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Santa's Out Tray.

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"You're welcome."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

Social lens of the photojournalist