Food Market Clerk Gifts

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

But is it organic?

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

Cat and INOUT boxes.

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."