Food Market Visiting Gifts

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

See you at the farmers market!

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

"All I've got left is smoked."

Illuminating agricultural production

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

'This is my wife Hilda, who is quite a tomato herself!'

"What makes you so sure our local farmers know what they're doing?"

Important balloons, $30.

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

Generic Products

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Sure it costs more. We have to squash bugs by hand."

'I'm glad you came in today, Mr Rosewine. We just got in a batch of sour grapes.

'Niche market'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

Cheeses of Nazareth.