Food Market Visiting Gifts

Fish Market. This doesn't smell fresh. You're right --- we better change all the lox.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

See you at the farmers market!

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Illuminating agricultural production

"All I've got left is smoked."

'This is my wife Hilda, who is quite a tomato herself!'

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

'What if your saliva's not organic?'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

"What makes you so sure our local farmers know what they're doing?"

Important balloons, $30.

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

Generic Products

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Sure it costs more. We have to squash bugs by hand."

'Niche market'

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

'I'm glad you came in today, Mr Rosewine. We just got in a batch of sour grapes.