Food Hygiene Pillows

'There are millions of bacteria in your intestines, anyway. What harm could one or two more do?'

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

"Would you prefer smoking or non smoking?"

'When life gives you lemons make lemonade.'

'You don't need a menu here, mate. If you can't see it on my apron, we don't sell it.'

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Lifeguard for Fly Swimming in Soup

"Oh, my. . . Billy is so cute!"

"Hey guys, there's a couple more complaints about hair in the soup."

"Trust me sir. I wouldn't ask to see the chef if I were you, he'll only put you off your food."

"Waiter... This roast chicken. Can I see it's death certificate please?"

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

"A fly in your soup Sir? Don't worry, it won't live long in that stuff..."

'Ok. Have your maple sugar on a stick, but watch me call the exterminator!'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"The law does not concern itself with trifles."

Barry had never heard of 'food hygiene awareness'.

'These hot springs are great: I really do prefer food that's been washed in hot water...'

'Don't worry about insects being in your food... a bit of extra meat won't hurt you!'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

'He can dish it out but can he take it?'

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

'There you go - All OK now'

'Glass of hot water please, I want to wash the cutlery'

Pizza Express

"Careful, these plates are extremely dirty."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'