Food Comedy Pillows

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"States of tofu"

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Garlic Free Zone.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I might just get a pie."

Deliboys

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'