Comedy Foodie Pillows

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Take up your bed and Wok."

Frozen meal: Lose weight fassst!... DIET MEAL Mystery Meat...Contains less than 6% fecal matter.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

'The escargots are underdone.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."