Comedy Foodie Pillows

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Take up your bed and Wok."

Frozen meal: Lose weight fassst!... DIET MEAL Mystery Meat...Contains less than 6% fecal matter.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...