Food Comedy Lovers Pillows

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Better Not Squash.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Cat eats date.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

'We need more cake shows!'

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.