Food Addiction Gifts

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Ice Cream Dreams.

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Non-Jet Lag.

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

A man and baby wearing bibs

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

Fast Food Dieter

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Try Our New Slam Dunk Coffee and Donut Special.

"Rough day; I have a staff meeting at nine, presentation at ten, big conference call at noon and then at three I'm getting fired and escorted out of the building by security."

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"George often brings his work home with him."