Snack Addict Gifts

This movie cost $300 million and you're surprised by the price of popcorn?

'The movie started 40 minutes ago.'

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Little league world series of poker.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Honest Vending

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Love is when you watch television together.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).