Addictions Gifts

"...No more black coffee!"

Television Readers.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Book market

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

TV vs Reading

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'Should I file this under fict or faction?'

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

Codependipity.

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

Trilby - 'A human nightingale'.

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

Snowman outside library.

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'