People Battling Addictions Gifts

"It's a vicious circle! He quits smoking, gains 20 pounds, goes on a diet."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

Codependipity.

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

Lab Rat Rehab...

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

'I remember when you were this high!'

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

'I'd like to quit drinking, but it's all I KNOW!'

"I'm glad you're trying to quit smoking Dr. Jekyll, but the withdrawal symptoms turn you into a completely different person!"

The trouble with trying to quit smoking.

'My job is safe. This guy is a regular and he drinks to forget.'

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

Alcohol Problem Advisor - 'How do I mix a Bismark?'

"About time!"

"I want to see other hallucinations."