Fondue Aficionado Gifts

'Embarrassing me won't get you out of 'fondue night' Harold!'

"States of tofu"

La Table

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Filling the Missile Gap

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Yes, it's different...but I don't think Fondue Friday is going to last."

"For drinks or dinner?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Choice hellhole

'How was the squid?'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Mock Fight At The Bakery

A Matryoshka dolls putting an oven in an oven

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Baker Makes Sexy Dough

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"