Folklorist Gifts

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Now hiring merry men. I'm afraid you're overqualified.

Der Freischütz

Leos Janacek

'You know, Leon, this is much easier now that they've come out with these convenient pop-tops.'

Johnny Appleseed's Dirty Little Secret

"The legend is true. Bigger Foot exists."

Scotsman in the bath...

"I am not a witch. . . I'm not! . . . And if you set that wood on fire, I'll turn you into a toad!"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

Vlad the Inhaler

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

A vampire in a canoe.

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Bigfoot"

A sure sign of rain

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'...this is Loch Lomand!'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.