Focused Driver Gifts

'How can I concentrate on my driving test, if you keep screaming like that?!'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Exit Next Left

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

Turmoil change.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

'God's speed.'

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."