Focus Guru Gifts

'Is this where they're conducting the focus group?'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"It helps me stay focused."

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

"People! People! Try to stay focused!"

"You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today."

"Of course we employ the disabled. Halve the staff here are not able to get to work on time, the rest are not able to focus on the job."

"I had the stitches out last week. I just find that it helps me stay focused."

Where your mind & battle are los

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

A Day In The Kitchen

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'