Fusion Guru Gifts

Hydrogen nucleus seeks single portion for possible fusion. . . to share conversations on nanoparticle tracking.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Beanirrito"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

A Day In The Kitchen

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

'Sleep deprivation's the least of my worries; I can't get these amortisation bluebells to frangipane...'

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

Money god

"Every time dad checks the stock market, he does that weird thing with his mouth."

"Oooh! I think I just felt our stock split."

Psychiatry in the Park

Frank, you had to get a second job? I should have read the fine print on that investment that guaranteed I'd "clean up"!

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."