Fly-high Evangelist Gifts

Jehova's Jet Set

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

'... Of course, I had to train for this job. I went to sundae school.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Excommunicate Me.

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'That was quick!'

For Sale: Red Arrow

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Holier Than Thou

"Before I share the meaning of life with Dave, let's take some calls from our viewers around the world."

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

A leap of faith.

'Co-pilot to pilot - I've located why the plane is out of balance.'

"A few more Hail Mary's would have seen you upgraded to premium-heaven."

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

Airport Cheerleader

Airport. Taxi. Everybody I drive to the airport seems to lose their fear of flying.

"For heaven’s sake, I said ‘fetch.’ Not ‘fly’!"

"Yes, my office has a swimming pool, golf course and helicopter pad. It's good to be CEO."

"There's that frantic thumping noise again."

'He had a charmed life. He went from student loans to hiring bonus to retention bonus to Golden parachute and social security.'

'Your job is to do wonders for productivity.'

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Man Jumps Out Of Plane With No Parachute.

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."

"City stockbrokers and managers feeling the credit crunch are cutting the 'other woman' from their spending habits. A 'mistress' commodity trading sector may develop as a result."

Att: Executives! Ask about our 'Ego trip' packages!

St. Peter to Darwin - "You can come in, but the book stays down there."

'Here is the corporate treasure trove.'

"What about a skills audit then?"

"Heeey. Look what Randy have."

"Better to turn on a recyclable compact fluorescent bulb than to curse the brightness challenged."