Fly Fighting Enthusiast Gifts

Ed was saving a fortune on insect spray now he had discovered that flies have no natural immunity to being whacked with a rolled up newspaper.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

Fly Fishing

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

Vaccine

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Emotional Support Pest

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

Flies up the ante!

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'Food fight!'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Flu Vaccine.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

Basic economy

"This feels so familiar."

'We're back. So how was your summer?'

'How long did you try before calling?'

Orchestra

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

Trick or Treatment.

No fly zone

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

'How are they biting?'

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"