Fly-fighting Aficionado Gifts

'How long did you try before calling?'

Fly Fishing

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

Emotional Support Pest

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Food fight!'

Orchestra

You Know You're Old When...

Basic economy

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

'We're back. So how was your summer?'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

'How are they biting?'

Nut Bomber

Fishing without a license.

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

'EEEEEEX-CREMENT!'

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

'Any chance your fly will hit the water in the next fifteen minutes? I'm getting dizzy!'

Flight School.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'Oh, we aren't disturbing my husband. He's busy with mosquitos.'

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'