Fly-fighting Aficionado Gifts

'How long did you try before calling?'

Fly Fishing

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

Emotional Support Pest

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'Food fight!'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

You Know You're Old When...

'We're back. So how was your summer?'

Basic economy

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

Orchestra

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

'How are they biting?'

Nut Bomber

Fishing without a license.

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

Flight School.

Waiter, why are there TWO flies in my soup? The second fly is the first fly's attorney.

'Oh, we aren't disturbing my husband. He's busy with mosquitos.'

'EEEEEEX-CREMENT!'

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

Now it's time for Dung or no Dung! With your host Stinkhole Edmunds!

'Your you is unzipped.'