Flu Dramatist Gifts

"Don't be so dramatic, you've only got a cold!"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Hard to follow...'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Performance In The Bedroom

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Impartiality becomes you."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Do you mind if I mix a little business with pleasure and have a brief conversation with the waiter about the fly in my soup?

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'

"I didn't want it to come to this. Launch the lawyers."

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

'We're eleven to one. May we borrow the murder weapon?'