Flood Myth Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Captain steering house through flood.

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

'...and this is the water garden...'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'If we could just sink Noah's Ark, think of the variety of food we could sample...'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

Noah's lesser known brother.

Climate Change Contingency House

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'

'Your father spent so much time building the ark he didn't have time to study navigation.'

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

"Look! They're closing the doors! Hurry! I promise we're not going to the vet!"

Noah's Ark

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

'Well why did you put the cats next to the mice?'