Flirty Canine Enthusiast Gifts

"Relax, princess. I'm fixed."

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

"Wow, what a DILF."

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

A skinny dog with clown make up

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

The firehouse has a cat instead of a dalmation.

'I was not expecting this, were you?'

"I have to tell you you were not my first choice for this job."

'I know how you feel.'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'My dog told me to say he likes your dog.'

Sheepdog

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

Making an Audio Book: Quiet Please No Barking!!!

Bad Dog

A hunter has a dream that his dog has brought a game warden to punish him.

"New tricks CD Rom"

'You'll be on a leash for the first six months.'

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

Dogs running in their dreams

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

'...You need to make a distinction between boot-licking and butt-kissing.'

The best way to get even with your enemies is to BE HAPPY. It's the last thing they want.

Doggie Standup

'I'll donate them to ANYONE but a DOG.'

"Dumb dog! When I said 'kill' I was speaking metaphorically!"

It soon became obvious to all in the theatre that Doug's Bach was worse than his bite.

'Forget about him, Suzie! He's a weak and stupid runner who never should have entered..'

If Cujo had been a chihuahua

'I have a good feeling about Mistress' new boyfriend: He's a Council Dog-Catcher!'

"He out does himself because he thinks that we're playing a game."

'Don't worry, I'm just marking my territory.'